Mikey's makeup malfunction!

No, that is not the love child of the 'Crypt Keeper' and an extra from 'The Planet of the Apes', it's our own Mikey in the bathroom of the Vegas Ritz-Carlton trying to stage some sympathy-garnering bruises after his arrest in November 2003. In the photos, shown publicly for the first time as part of Roger Friedman's column, you can see the mis-placed and less-than-convincing 'bruises' as they're being created. All of this in an attempt to divert attention from his crimes by hopefully starting an OJ-like 'race war' where he was the unfortunate victim of white policemen who 'manhandled' him. Boy, can't you just see the meeting of Mikey advisors where they came up with that one?! Bet the Jesus Juice was flowing freely that night. Of course, after an in-depth investigation, the whole "doo-doo" tinged episode was exposed as a lie in 2004. Which only made sense since even the most casual observer of these pics has to ask themselves: why would the police put the supposedly too-tight handcuffs on Mikey's forearms, shouldn't the bruises be around his scrawny wrists?! Whattan idiot! My fave part of the column says that 'sources close' to Mikey provided these shots... and, we don't know about you all but we love when that happens! Read the column and check out the other pics here.