Oh, 'Brother': He won't tell!

Former child star (and proof that "you're never really okay after having been a playmate of Mikey's"), Macaulay Culkin, will be a contestant in the UK reality teevee show 'Big Brother.' The producers of the show are salivating over the prospect of Mac's "bee-stung lips" revealing some new details of nights in Neverland to spice up the show's ratings. To that notion we say: right, ain't gonna happen. Unless the producers of the show are gonna be slipping Mac millions and giving him some pretty blatant prodding we can't see it taking place. A subpoena and trip to the witness stand didn't get 'im to give up his former water-balloon-tossin'/up-the-shorts-leg-gropin' buddy so what makes these Brits think their cheesy reality show will make 'im crack? Mac's not exactly gettin' scripts left and right these days, and his last big movie part, playing a bustier wearin', homicidal club kid/disco queen with a penchant for animal tranquilizers ('Party Monster', 2003, see pic) didn't exactly do 'Home Alone' business. His most recent trip to the spotlight, playing an "up with Mikey/he never touched me" witness during the trial was equally unconvincing. The part he has played with amazing verisimilitude is that of troubled has-been/child actor-casualty with a drug problem. Read about all the upcoming "reality" here.