Mikey tops chart for 2005!

Calm down... he's not topping the pop charts again, that would mean we're living in the bizarro world. What he's topping is the Top 10 Newsmakers list for 2005, according to teevee show, Accent Hollywood. Mikey tops a list that includes a desperate housewife; a fading white-trash bubblegum singer; a dumb-as-a-post daisy-duker; a rabidly loony scientologist; the world's most prominent comb-over proponent; a jailbird lifestyle guru; a gluteal-endowed tonedeaf warbler; a dumped sitcom star/daytime talkshow sobsister and, finally, a pillow-lipped, homewrecking actress/humanitarian. Whew! It's been a long year but somehow Mikey pulled it out, taking the top spot with his devastating combination of legal troubles (got away with it!), personal style (still freakish!), kooky behavior (he falls! he's dehydrated! he's a Muslim?!); family dysfunction (all white, all together, homeless!) and travel plans (Bahrain?!). And, it looks like he's got a good start on 2006: he's already been ordered back for an early January contempt hearing in L.A.! Congrats, Mikey! You'll always be at the top of my Celebrity Mess list! Check the list here.

Christmas bonus: I've included a pic of obvious Mikey fashion reference, Señor Wences' hand puppet. The puppet's on the bottom. S'awright? S'awright!